Because 'cent pinching' doesn't have quite the same ring to it.
It was not so long ago that myself and Tero had two rather nice incomes. After Markus came along not too much changed for the 6 months that I was on paid maternity leave.
Once I went back to work, I was part-time and so one of our wages was halved. Now we are in Finland and living on the equivalent of just one of our previous wages.
We don't have a car and nor could we afford one - well- we could, just, but not if something went badly wrong with it. Not a risk either of us would like to take.
We have a mortgage and maintenance payment on the apartment that is smaller in total than the rent on our place in Ireland. Utilities and internets are *far* cheaper here and the heating is included in the aforementioned maintenance (no nasty winter surprises is rather lovely).
We are paying off the credit card (bought a sofa on it) at quite an astounding rate and we have money over after food for fun, things for the apartment and things for Markus; his birthday present and party for example.
Where am I going with this?
I got nicely into the habit of not having to think about what we were spending on what. On my days off I'd mince around the city with Markus stopping in perhaps two coffee shops, have lunch out, buy some random things that looked cute. I don't know. There was a lot of just hanging around in the city buying stuff. Thoughtlessly and aimlessly. This was partly because I never really liked either of the houses we lived in. One was boring and the other could have been nice given a bit of effort but we moved in knowing we would be leaving for Finland within a couple of months.
Still. Where am I going with this? :) I'll get there!
I was walking through a shopping centre today (mall for any USian reading this!) and was feeling a little wistful. I wanted to have a look in the nice shops and be able to buy something if it caught my fancy. Unfortunately today, I was not in a position to do so and caught myself feeling a little sad. Wanting just a few hundred euros to be silly with. And THEN it hit me.
What would I buy with that few hundred euros if I was in my former thoughtless and aimless mindset? I know not. Probably very unmemorable things. I can't for the life of me tell you where my money used to go. Only that it went. I thought about our current situation where we have to be thoughtful and it struck me that, having worked out a budget last month for the next 6 months, I really enjoy looking at what we *can* get each month. This month is Markus's birthday present and the wallpaper and paint for our bedroom. Next month is Markus's food for his party, a reading light for the lounge and a work light for the spare room/craft room and an extra 100 euros off of the credit card.
For the most part I really like this thoughtfulness. This saving or waiting for the things that we want and need to slowly but surely build a nice little home for us all just as we want it. No thoughtless purchases which are later useless or unwanted. No random, guilt-ridden crap piling up in cupboards. Just progress and achievement and hopefully a nice example for Markus on money management and consumerism or lack thereof.
There. I'm done. :)
Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Monday, February 18, 2013
Boobs and bottles.
I should really change the description of this blog. To what I am not sure, but this post isn't about raising a Markus in particular and neither is it about living in Finland. It's that time-honoured slagging ground. Breastfeeding vs Formula.
Although it's not really.
I asked on my Facebook page - bravely or stupidly I am unsure - if there were any people on my friend list who went straight for formula: didn't even give the ol' boobs a chance.
The discussion remained more than civil which was wonderful. The replies from people helped to challenge some of my preconceptions regarding people's choices. The little lactivist (in fairness, it's not really that little) that sits at the back of my mind wanted to analyse each and every response and point out where Things Went Wrong and what should be possible and achievable if ONLY one has the right support.
In my defense I have some ridiculous examples among my mummy friends and acquaintances: Two women who exclusively breastfed twins, a really good friend who breastfed her first and then tandem-fed her along with a newborn - both children breastfed up until at least three years of age, the mum of a premie who pumped her milk for five months before hitting the bottle (of formula). I had some minor issues myself although they most certainly did not feel minor at the time.
So where does it go wrong with those who start out feeding or who tried to feed a first baby? Because I can't let it be, it's the most irritating itch imaginable.
Firstly I don't think that mum went wrong. I think that laws on formula advertising and sales are wrong. I think that we as a people - nationally, globally - have been formula feeding until it feels normal. We've lost our expertise. For sure there are people out there with the knowledge, they are just thinly and unevenly spread among the populace. I think that the overwhelming majority of system-based (hospitals, doctors surgeries) staff do NOT have the requisite knowledge to inform, help and - in a positive manner - encourage women who want or need the help. Even from my own experience the ineptitude unveiled during the handful of visits was quite something. Had I not had the people around me, the amazing examples, I am quite sure I would have believed every word of it. Had I not believed it, I would not have had the confidence to stand up for myself or Markus's needs.
I can understand, therefore, someone who switches to formula after a difficult time. I can understand someone who, having had a bad experience of feeding child no. 1, chooses to go straight to the bottle. I still can't quite fathom why someone would not want to try and feed their first born. It's my final stumbling block.
There has been progress though. I feel far less prejudiced this evening than I did this morning and as my lovely cousin pointed out, it is far easier to lead someone down a different path with understanding as opposed to judgement.
Although it's not really.
I asked on my Facebook page - bravely or stupidly I am unsure - if there were any people on my friend list who went straight for formula: didn't even give the ol' boobs a chance.
The discussion remained more than civil which was wonderful. The replies from people helped to challenge some of my preconceptions regarding people's choices. The little lactivist (in fairness, it's not really that little) that sits at the back of my mind wanted to analyse each and every response and point out where Things Went Wrong and what should be possible and achievable if ONLY one has the right support.
In my defense I have some ridiculous examples among my mummy friends and acquaintances: Two women who exclusively breastfed twins, a really good friend who breastfed her first and then tandem-fed her along with a newborn - both children breastfed up until at least three years of age, the mum of a premie who pumped her milk for five months before hitting the bottle (of formula). I had some minor issues myself although they most certainly did not feel minor at the time.
So where does it go wrong with those who start out feeding or who tried to feed a first baby? Because I can't let it be, it's the most irritating itch imaginable.
Firstly I don't think that mum went wrong. I think that laws on formula advertising and sales are wrong. I think that we as a people - nationally, globally - have been formula feeding until it feels normal. We've lost our expertise. For sure there are people out there with the knowledge, they are just thinly and unevenly spread among the populace. I think that the overwhelming majority of system-based (hospitals, doctors surgeries) staff do NOT have the requisite knowledge to inform, help and - in a positive manner - encourage women who want or need the help. Even from my own experience the ineptitude unveiled during the handful of visits was quite something. Had I not had the people around me, the amazing examples, I am quite sure I would have believed every word of it. Had I not believed it, I would not have had the confidence to stand up for myself or Markus's needs.
I can understand, therefore, someone who switches to formula after a difficult time. I can understand someone who, having had a bad experience of feeding child no. 1, chooses to go straight to the bottle. I still can't quite fathom why someone would not want to try and feed their first born. It's my final stumbling block.
There has been progress though. I feel far less prejudiced this evening than I did this morning and as my lovely cousin pointed out, it is far easier to lead someone down a different path with understanding as opposed to judgement.
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