Boobs and bottles.

I should really change the description of this blog. To what I am not sure, but this post isn't about raising a Markus in particular and neither is it about living in Finland.  It's that time-honoured slagging ground. Breastfeeding vs Formula.

Although it's not really.  

I asked on my Facebook page - bravely or stupidly I am unsure - if there were any people on my friend list who went straight for formula: didn't even give the ol' boobs a chance.

The discussion remained more than civil which was wonderful. The replies from people helped to challenge some of my preconceptions regarding people's choices.  The little lactivist (in fairness, it's not really that little) that sits at the back of my mind wanted to analyse each and every response and point out where Things Went Wrong and what should be possible and achievable if ONLY one has the right support. 

In my defense I have some ridiculous examples among my mummy friends and acquaintances: Two women who exclusively breastfed twins, a really good friend who breastfed her first and then tandem-fed her along with a newborn - both children breastfed up until at least three years of age, the mum of a premie who pumped her milk for five months before hitting the bottle (of formula). I had some minor issues myself although they most certainly did not feel minor at the time. 

So where does it go wrong with those who start out feeding or who tried to feed a first baby?  Because I can't let it be, it's the most irritating itch imaginable.  

Firstly I don't think that mum went wrong. I think that laws on formula advertising and sales are wrong. I think that we as a people - nationally, globally - have been formula feeding until it feels normal.  We've lost our expertise.  For sure there are people out there with the knowledge, they are just thinly and unevenly spread among the populace.  I think that the overwhelming majority of system-based (hospitals, doctors surgeries) staff do NOT have the requisite knowledge to inform, help and - in a positive manner - encourage women who want or need the help.  Even from my own experience the ineptitude unveiled during the handful of visits was quite something. Had I not had the people around me, the amazing examples, I am quite sure I would have believed every word of it.  Had I not believed it, I would not have had the confidence to stand up for myself or Markus's needs.

I can understand, therefore, someone who switches to formula after a difficult time. I can understand someone who, having had a bad experience of feeding child no. 1, chooses to go straight to the bottle. I still can't quite fathom why someone would not want to try and feed their first born. It's my final stumbling block.  

There has been progress though. I feel far less prejudiced this evening than I did this morning and as my lovely cousin pointed out, it is far easier to lead someone down a different path with understanding as opposed to judgement.