Winging it

Winging it, is in fairness, what we have been doing with regards to parenting little Markus.  That sounds bad but in retrospect, I think it's worked well for us. By 'winging it' I should clarify that we haven't been blindly making decisions, we've just been making them as we need to - as it becomes clear that a decision needs to be made. Sometimes we haven't even made the decision. Markus has made it for us.

I'll back-track a bit. I had some preconceived ideas about babies.  Tero had no ideas about babies! 

1) I will breastfeed for six months.

2) The baby will sleep in his own bed in our room initially and then move to his room at three to six months old.

3) We will have a lovely routine and my life will not be greatly impacted.

Are you pissing yourself laughing yet?  You should be. Here's how it went:

1)  Well that's very noble of you, Nicola. Breast is best!  Six months is the recommended exclusive feeding duration.  How did that work? 

Markus is now 22 months old and still feeding away. Not really any less than he was when he was 6 months old.  Why?  It became apparent rather quickly on that it's an amazing bonding experience. It doesn't lessen the older the baby gets and in fact from my perspective it becomes more and more of a social 'tool'. A connection for us both. For Markus it's food, water, comfort, solace, quiet time. It's more than that. I can barely explain. He's still fed to sleep most of the time.  He doesn't use a dummy, because mummy soothes him. Mummy is lucky in that she does not have to work at this present time so she can - I don't want to use the word indulge because that would be wrong - accommodate this *need*.  

When will I stop feeding?  Wrong question.  When will Markus stop feeding?  When he damn well likes.

2) Markus sleeps next to me. He has done so from a very early age despite a few early-on attempts to settle him in his moses basket next to the bed. Why? It works best that way. In the early days I slept more not having to sit up, haul this hefty little bundle out of the basket, feed, replace, sleep.  He made it clear that next to me was where he was supposed to be and I could rid myself of any silly notions that it would be otherwise.   I can honestly say that now he has, in the last three months, started sleeping through, that I will miss him sleeping next to me when he does eventually move to his own bed.  When?  You guessed it: when he wants to.

3)  Oh dear.  Really?  Teehee!  We didn't get close to a routine until about 20 weeks... and then out of it, into it, out of it, into it. My life has changed beyond recognition.  But we are in a pretty good routine now. We are nicely settled. I am far less stressed than I have been for a long time and I believe that has been the biggest impact.  As for 'getting my life back', well I am just getting quite content with the one that I have. It's quite nice, thankyouverymuch.

So to sum up, throughout the last 22 months, I have been reading voraciously about breastfeeding, co-sleeping, baby-wearing, baby sleep patterns, baby needs and it seems that we have naturally fallen into 'gentle' or 'attachment' parenting if you want to label it. It felt right and from what I can ascertain, it is right. Our little people are little for such a short time that meeting their very basic needs does not feel like a chore (well okay, it does sometimes, but not for very long).